Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Fifty Ways to Lose Your Blubber


"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be lean
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber.

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber
Fifty ways to lose your blubber

You just work out your back, Jack
Start a new diet plan, Stan
You don't need to take pills, Jill
Just listen to me
Hop on the treadmill, Bill
You don't need to discuss much
Just lay off the fat, Pat
And set yourself free

Ooo work out with weights, Kate
Keep with the plan, Jan
No need to procrastinate, Nate
Just listen to me
Hop off your rear, Dear
Don't need to discuss much
Just eat a little less, Bess
Set your fat free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just stop by the gym tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she smacked my flab and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to lose your blubber
Fifty ways to lose your blubber

You just try out the Shred, Fred
Keep with the plan, Fran
Dont need surgery, Marjorie
Just listen to me
Hop on the treadmill, Jill
Don't need to discuss much
Just get to the gym, Jim
Set yourself free

Slip on your shoes, Sue
Stick with the plan, Stan
Don't eat all on the plate, Nate
Just listen to me
Hop up and go, Jo
You don't need to discuss much
Just stay away from cake, Blake
And set yourself free

(inspired by the ravings of Jack Sh*t. Love ya, Jack)

3 comments:

  1. Quite a litany of weight loss strategies!!

    If I adopt 2-5of them, maybe the scale will start moving down again.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What madness have I wrought?

    Priceless! Absolutely priceless...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nice. Oh, and thanks for the earworm of the day. I think.

    ReplyDelete

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