Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Roller Coaster of Life

I really didn't know what to call this post. "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly"?  "Manic Monday"?

Monday was a day of several stories.

Nair is dangerous.
When I was in high school, there was one New Year's Eve that I did not have a boyfriend and neither did my BFF Wendy so we spent the evening watching MTV (Pour Some Sugar on Me was big at this time) and trying out a new wax kit I got for Christmas. Yes, we spent New Year's waxing our legs.

We got wax all over the place: on the remote, the door knobs, everywhere.  We found out quickly that waxing is a very painful process from putting on the hot wax to ripping the hair out of the legs. I bled. That's how bad it was. My legs actually had places that bled.

Flash forward to Monday. Needing to do some maintenance because of swimsuit season, I knew I'd never ever want to get a bikini wax or the straight-out-of-hell Brazilian wax even though there are always Groupons for it. Not going to happen!  Being the brilliant person I am, I decided to try Nair. Melts the hair right off.

My Nair bottle came with a sponge to apply it. The thing about sponges is that they are not detail oriented. They just cover the whole canvas. 5 minutes later I had the Telly Savalas.  Not the end of the world until I realized that it's about time for my yearly "exam" with my doctor. Cue panic attack. I know he's going to say something and I will die from embarrassment. Right there on the table. He's quite the jokester and offers to give me exams when I don't even need them. He doesn't even offer to buy me a drink first.

I can't believe I'm even telling you this. But there it is. Just so you know, be careful with the Nair. Learn from my mistakes.  And heed the warnings on the bottle. They're not joking.
Death of a Minivan

Chuck had an appointment to see his surgeon so I rode with him to see what the doc would say about his neck. Along the way we go through a Chik-Fil-A drive thru (chicken no bun for me) and while in the very crowded line my van stops working. Can't start it again. Nothing. Out of the blue. So Chuck and I jump out and start pushing it up to the drive thru window to get our food. I'm in sandals. They don't offer a lot of traction.

Chuck jumps into the van to steer it and avoid hitting a pole with the door so I'm left pushing the van by myself and he says, "Push faster." Are you kidding me??!! I'm giving her all she's got, captain. I need more power!

The van starts finally and we are able to drive home but it won't shift out of first gear. Ahhhh. I could pull my hair out. Well, what hair I have left.

So Vincent is in the driveway dead right now. Chuck thinks it's a relay situation and is going to see about replacing them himself. Vincent is on my last nerve.

And we missed Chuck's doctor appointment.

As soon as I walk through the door from the van fiasco (literally I had just walked through the door) the phone rings. Chuck answers and it's Verizon saying they're going to disconnect our cell phones because we haven't paid the bill. All eyes on me because I'm the one that pays the bills. And I have been!! I have a system, people. I get stuff done.

After some searching we discover that our account number changed when we switched the phones from my name to Chuck's (he gets a discount through his employer) so all of my electronic payments were going to the wrong account.  I just need to get some info from my bank and they will take the money from one account and apply it to the other.  Great except my bank can't give me that information.

I give the Verizon people all the info I can and they're going to see if it's enough to switch the money. Ahhhhh! Pulling more hair out. For right now, I think the account is ok.
Stab me in the ear with an ice pick

We had told Charlie he could take a couple of friends to Rainforest Cafe for his birthday dinner. That was before Vincent died so things weren't looking good for us to fit 6 people in either Rachel's car or Chuck's truck. So we borrowed the in-laws' Tahoe. 3 people in the front seat, 3 giggling boys in the back seat. Loud boys.

Rainforest Cafe Galveston. We arrive.
 Darn you, bad lighting! Chuck and Rachel near the entrance.
 The boys wanted to ride the "adventure boat ride".
 We've done this before. It's pretty lame. What happened to that snake's head?! OMG, zombie snake.
 But the smile on that boy's face makes it worth the price tag.
 Hey, cool. Love the creepy frog with laser eyes.
 After a wait of almost an hour (on a Monday night!) we get to eat and Charlie gets a volcano dessert: brownie, ice cream, caramel, chocolate, more brownie. They sang happy birthday to him and he had a great time. Happy birthday, Charlie!
 Went outside and waited for the volcano to erupt.

 Then started the ride home where I was looking for an ice pick to gouge out my eardrums. The boys were hopped up on sugar and laughed loudly (I'm pretty sure it was directly into my ears) at dumb jokes. The whole way for an hour.

I think Chuck was trying to make a point at how silly the jokes were by telling his own:
What did the penguin say to the stack of pancakes? What do I look like? A bowling ball?

Stupid, right? Makes no sense. The boys laughed so hard at this and kept telling the same joke over and over and over and over. Longest ride home from Galveston ever. I'm not grumpy. I'd had a day and they were so loud!

But, again, it was Charlie's birthday and I wanted him to have a great time and he did. :)
The Eats

So how did I do with all the stress of the day?
Breakfast I had a protein shake.
Lunch was a piece of chicken from Chik-Fil-A no bun.

Dinner was tough. I really, really wanted a BBQ chicken pizza. I had an enabler with me who said to go ahead and get it. Instead I got a cobb salad. I gave the bread to Rachel while she waited 15 minutes for her dinner to come out. Terrible service.
And you saw that dessert they had? I had one bite. One.
I started lifting weights again. I'm using Chalene Xtreme. It can be adapted to any fitness level because you lift as much as you can which is different for everyone. 35 minutes of sweating and then my legs and arms were left shaking.
I'm very sore today.

So there were a lot of downs but I did good with the eats and kept myself under control. I made wise choices for my body (maybe the Nair wasn't so wise) and am happy with how I had control when chaos ruled around me. Even when I can't control what happens to me I can control what I contribute to the situation and I think I did ok.

Hoping for a kinder, gentler Tuesday. :D


  1. Thank you...Made me smile.. Nice family !!!

  2. I didn't even know that Nair was powerful enough to do that.

  3. I didn't either, Camevil. But trust me, it is.

  4. That is the longest day EVER! I can't get beyond the smell of Nair (bought some a few years ago) so that won't be an issue for me, but OMGROFLOL won't that be an interesting doctor's visit!!!

    I remember those loud all-boy birthday parties. They look like they had a great time - the cake was very impressive - and hey - it's just once in a while. Love that they thought the jokes were so hilarious.

    So...is Chuck ready to buy you your Audi yet?

  5. Oh, girl, you did have a day, didn't you? Let's home Tuesday is full of serenity and is Nair-free!

  6. I knew that about the Nair. Some people use it on purpose that way you know. But I'm pretty sure those people buy the Bikini Zone Nair and not the leg one ;-) I wouldn't worry too much about your doctor, I'd bet he's seen it all. Unless you have an actual rash or something...

    Even though I could feel your pain, I couldn't help but chuckle at that day. It must have felt never-ending.

    My vote is that Tuesday is calm and peaceful, drama free, and possibly includes a new vehicle!

  7. Hi Kelly, I feel your pain! Nair and I had fling a few years ago, and it was an experience NOT to be repeated. :) Never heard the penguin joke before, it's so bad I actually snickered. Not sure why....
    Hope your Tuesday is MUCH MUCH better than your Monday was! All the best.

  8. How can you go to a male DOC lol... my wife uses Dr. Hurtado, she is awesome!!!


    I think a woman OBG is better... since she's a woman too..

    I'd say your in a great rollercoaster, so enjoy it, because like all rollercoasters, they do come to an end ;)

  9. Oh Lord Kel! I remember the leg waxing incident. I have never had the nerve to try anything remotely similar since then. Razors are enough of a torture device for me, thank you very much. I almost fell out of my chair reading about your Nair incident!!

  10. The penguin joke is still making me laugh.

    While there were a few craptastic incidents, I hope the good times outweighed the bad.

    Can you drop Vincent in the volcano?

    Hope your Tuesday is going well!

  11. Nair is just nas-tay. It stinks, and can give you a rash.

    Well, you survived the day and that is what matters :D

  12. I laughed so hard at the waxing story. My mom and I decided to do it one time and had bruises for weeks. Best left to the professionals!

    Sounds like one of those tough, yet fulfilling days. Good job on staying in control!

  13. I remember Nair. I remember the rash I got from Nair. I had to wear pants to cover the horror.

    Considering the temptations, you done great. And your family is adorable. Such fun. I'm always wishing a little, "Wish i was there cracking up right along with them. " :)

  14. Love your posts, Kelly! Always entertaining. You should write a book! :)


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