Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Queen Paleo

Yesterday I was all excited about starting my new Crossfit adventure through Everyday Paleo Lifestyle and Fitness. I got up early and did my silly little beginner workout. Psh. Please. All I had to do was walk 5 minutes, do 10 deep squats, 10 push ups, and 10 situps twice then walk again for 5 minutes then stretch. Easy peasy.

Wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong!

I can hardly move today. I told Rachel that I wanted her to do these exercises too. After all, it's my responsibility to teach her good habits now. She says, "That's all I have to do?" after seeing the workout. She completes them and has trouble walking down the stairs. We're both sore.

How sore? It hurts to brush my teeth. My teeth. It hurts to turn on a light switch. To put on pants. It hurts to sleep. And this is just my arms! Walking? Forget about it. I waddle. TMI: it hurts to sit down on the potty. Getting up is also a struggle. I use the walls to help me. My legs are screaming. My butt is on fire. (Ewww. That sounds terrible)

This whole Paleo thing is supposed to mimic how we have evolved to eat. It's preagriculture, pre-Diet Coke, pre-wheat, pre-sitonourassandwatchBiggestLoserwhileeatingpizza.

Crossfit is the exercise that goes along with the eating portion of Paleo. I guess it's supposed to mimic the stuff our Paleo grandmas and grandpas had to do in order to survive. Walk, sprint, climb, lift heavy stuff, etc. Together (the eating method and exercise regime) they're supposed to make for some good looking bods. Oh yeah, and healthy too if you're concerned about that sort of thing and not just worried about how you look in some cute skinny jeans and that tee shirt that hugs the curves in all the right places. So obviously I'm only concerned about health. (*snicker* Yeah right)

I've seen enough before and after pictures to say that these folks do look fantastic. Nice muscles. The guys are ripped. They can do pull ups, for god's sake! I've never even come close to doing one. I'd strut around like a peacock if I could pull my head up above a bar.

All of the paleo mimicry made me wonder how these exercises parallel the lives of my ancestors.

Walking: obviously the hunter/gatherer folks had to walk for miles and miles tracking down food. That makes sense.

Squats: Bending down is pretty natural. Lift with your legs not your back, Captain Caveman. Makes sense.

Pushups: Hmmmm. Well, I guess if you were lying down and need to get up? Or having some hot caveman sex? No idea what the parallel to "real life" is there. But they suck! And so do those squats.

Situps: We all have to sit up! I'm just taking a nap and HARK! What's that? A saber tooth squirrel is eating my stash! Quick sit up and chase him away. Sitting up repeatedly, however, does not make sense.

Stretching: It just feels good. Even animals stretch. Birds, dogs, cats, horses. Stretching is natural.  I get that.

I am one sore cavegirl today. The soreness made me realize that I would be a dead hunter/gatherer girl OR I'd be the Queen Cave Bee. I would't have to squat, push up or sit up. The other Crossfit paleo boys would have to bring me stuff in this condition. I'd be like the queen bee that the other bees wait on hand and foot. I'm ashamed that that tiny little workout could do so much to me!

Onward and stronger! I think this is going to be great for my body and for my family as well. I'm looking forward to becoming strong and fit. The workouts aren't long but they are intense. No endless hours of cardio (though I do admit I love Zumba and kickboxing and spinning).

One problem I am having right now is leaning forward with my squats instead of keeping my back in a more upright position. The good thing about Everyday Paleo and Lifestyle Fitness is that they encourage you to send in video clips so they can help you with your form. I like having the individual coaching. And they answer questions immediately. A new workout is posted every two days. All for $20. I'm pretty pumped.

Ok. Enough whining about being sore. (Plus typing this hurts so no more rambling.)

Lunch was some leftover not-paleo or low carb Indian food. I don't want it to go to waste and I'm on a budget so I ate it. And it was soooo good!
 I love the spices. I need to make some chicken tikka masala to keep around for lunches.
I had a recipe to test for America's Test Kitchen. Twice Baked Sweet Potatoes with Cinnamon Toast Topping. Please. Do I even need to tell you that this is not healthy? Brown sugar toast topping.

I paired it with spinach and BBQ pork loin. Everything was great but those potatoes were incredible. Mmmm. Can't wait for the recipe to be published so I can share it with you.
Actual conversation.....

Rachel: It hurts to bend over. Are you hurting?

Me: Yes! It hurt to brush my teeth. I can't turn on a light switch without grimmacing. I'm very sore.

Rachel: And it's only going to get worse!

Me: No, honey. This is when the magic happens. We tear those muscles down and while we rest they are building back up but they're stronger this time. This is when it happens.

Rachel: I don't like magic. Magic hurts!

Tomorrow I'll report in. Day three is always the most sore. Yikes! Time to go get friendly with Mr. Ibuprofen.


  1. If you're looking for a more Paleo-centric sweet potato recipe, go to paleOMG.com and look for the one she posted last week. They're grilled and bacon is involved. I'm buying sweet potatoes this week specifically to try it!

    1. Funny you should mention that recipe. I was browsing that web site last night and saw those and showed them to Chuck. Looks like something we'd love!!

  2. Your painful post reminds me of my workouts with Brad...ahhh, good times. Yep, it's amazing how little it takes to feel so beat up, but if you stick with it, you are going to see some great results!

    1. It is amazing! I mean, I have been doing lots of squats but I do 10 with really good form and do them deep and suddenly my legs are jelly. Form matters! LOL

      Yeah. Gotta stick with it. I'm using muscles I didn't even know I had.

  3. My favorite line: I'd strut around like a peacock. I LOVE THAT! I'm excited to read about your Paleo adventures. I've heard a lot of good (and bad, of course) things about it. And good for you for getting Rachel involved; it's never to early to learn the benefits and pain of a good, tough workout :D

    1. I kind of do my own thing. I'm not strictly Paleo or anything really. I just use the recipes I like and try to cut back on dairy but I'm not giving up my cheese for good. Milk? Not a problem. But I love me some aged gouda.

  4. Yep, Ibuprofen will definitely be your friend! I have a quick and easy chicken tikka masala recipe - you just reminded me I haven't made it in a while, and now that my SIL is back from vacation and I am cooking her lunches again, I think I'll make it next week. :D


    1. I just checked out your link and MAN does that ever look good! You make your own naan bread too right?

      Maybe I'll try ibuprofen crusted chicken served on a bed of vicodin. :P

  5. Ouch! I can remember feeling like that a few times.

    Hang in there!!!

    1. Thanks! yeah, I think we all go through it at one time or another.

  6. You're hilarious! I'm going to try that workout in the morning but may start off with 3-5 sets?

    1. 3-5 sets?! You go, girl! Two sets killed me. I think the trick is to do them with perfect form. That's what gets ya. And make sure those squats are deep. You're probably in much better shape than I am. ;)

  7. Kelly,

    Give it a few days and you will feel better!! Good luck with Paleo diet, I'm also thinking of cutting out dairy but I'm not sure I can give up diet coke yet ;(


    1. Thanks, HS. I don't do strictly any diet. I like to get recipes from paleo web sites because most of it is stugg that my body likes. I gotta watch out for the carby stuff though. I guess I'm low carb/paleo. Low Carbeo?

      Nope. I'm not giving up Diet Coke either but cutting back. Same as dairy.
      Good luck! Make it happen. :)

  8. Ha! Great post! Sorry you are hurting but happy at the reason why you're hurting! Remember Nieche (spelling?) That which does not kill us makes us stronger! (good one!)

  9. Just getting started on your blog, but this was hilarious. I've heard some about paleo, but not sure I am ready to go there yet. I can't even think about doing a deep squat at this point. Maybe someday!


  10. Oops!


  11. Hi Kelly. Jason, co-founder EPLifeFit here. I'm glad you are enjoying our site, but I thought I should mention that we are not affiliated with crossfit, don't promote crossfit, and usually disagree with crossfit on a few key issues. I would hate to see your readers head to their local crossfit expecting what you describe to them. See you on the forums!

    1. I also thought I should add that crossfit officially promotes the Zone Diet and kicked out Robb Wolf, their former nutrition instructor and the author of The Paleo Solution, because he promoted paleo.

    2. Sorry about that, Jason. I had no idea. I didn't realize crossfit was a brand. And I always heard they promoted Paleo. All news to me. Thanks for the correction. :)

  12. Hey! So glad you tried CF. I started it in late February and I LOVE IT!! I went this morning at 5:30 in fact. I have done several different types of exercises class and on my own and such and BY FAR this is my favorite!! I am eating low carb, mostly grain free at the moment and I do feel good. The scale isn't dropping hardly at all but I am keeping at it. I am thinking I might need to drop the dairy like one of your other commenters said...I too am not giving up my diet Dr. Pepper just yet though. HA!! Glad you are doing well.

  13. Dawn! It's so good to hear from you! I think about you from time to time and how much you've accomplished. :) Your before and after pictures really are amazing.

    Glad to hear you're enjoying crossfit so much. I *thought* I was doing crossfit but it's not exactly. I'm loving the workouts though.

    Yeah, I found out I lose faster if I cut back on that dairy. But I LOVE me some aged gouda from time to time.

    Don't you worry about that scale. You're doing great. Check out this picture for someone whose scale didn't move but her body changed completely!


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