Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Self Discovery

I've been learning a lot about my self lately. Self discovery. And not in a creepy puberty sort of way. I mean I've been doing some inventory on myself and learning more and more.

  1. I am goal oriented. I apparently have to have some sort of goal to look forward to. It can be anything from a race, a date night, a weight goal, or a vacation. I just feel a bit lost without some sort of goal.
  2. I talk negatively about myself. I always find something wrong with me. I must stop that! Even if I receive a compliment I have to say something negative. For example, if someone says I've lost weight I'd say something like, "I still have a way to go! Just look at my belly." No more negative talk. It's ridiculous. I've always been my own worst critic even when I was bone thin. Never felt pretty, etc.
  3. I sabotage myself. I do this all the time. As I near a goal I stop trying so hard or just stop. This applies to training, weight loss or learning something new. I hate that the most and it's something I need to stop immediately. I'll be doing great losing weight and then I just stop. Or I'll be training for a half marathon and just stop. I'm a great starter but not a great finisher.
  4. I can spend money as if I just won the lottery. I love doing things. Have you noticed? It's time to get completely out of debt and eat in more often. Now if gas prices would only come down a little.
  5. I get bored easily. This may have a relationship with #3. I don't get bored with people but I get bored. I want to try new things and learn new things. And when I latch on to something I become a little obsessed with that thing. Running, for example. I can't simply just go outside and start running. No. No. I have to read several books about running then make sure I have all the right gear then I begin running. Then that's all I think about and do! Hiking. Crochet. Reading the Classics. I get my mind stuck on something and go at it like a honey badger. Then I get bored and move on to something else. Not something I proud of but something that I recognize about myself. I'm pretty sure I've always been this way. I need to relax a little. ;) And I need to be dedicated to losing the remainder of this weight and getting in shape.
  6. I'm not the best housekeeper. I see it as an overwhelming job. But I am making progress with that. I take cleaning in 15 minute segments. You'd be surprised what you can get done in 15 minutes! And two of those sessions really makes a difference.
  7. I'm not always the best daughter, friend, wife or mother. Ok, sounds like I'm getting into that negative talk area but I'm not. It's an observation. I don't see my parents enough. It's hard for them to come here so I've made the decision to make sure I go see them at least once a month. And I want to be a better friend and check up on my peeps and see how they're doing. It's not that I don't care but that I feel like I'm bugging them or don't think they'd care to hear from me. I also need to be a better wife to Chuck. I already make him sandwiches. I don't know what else he could want! LOL  And a better mother to the kids and do more fun stuff with them and just hang out with them. We do a lot together but there's always room for improvement.
  8. I hate being told no and/or what to do. I can't stand the word "no". So childish, I know. I also can't stand being told what to do. If it's my own decision it's fine. But don't tell me I have to do something. For instance, my doctor told me I had to eat low carb or face the consequences. So I've fought it off and on. Enough of that.
  9. I'm so shy in crowds that I can appear stuck up. I have always been a bit shy in crowds and that has come off as being stuck up in the past. I assure you I am not. But over the recent years I have been working at just being myself and have improved.
  10. I haven't been a dedicated blogger lately. Sorry guys. There was some stuff I needed to work out. Think I've mentioned that before. It's all good and I'm feeling balanced and happy, etc. You ready to start seeing what I eat again?! LOL I have to say that when I started this blog I didn't expect a soul to read it. Who cares what I eat or how I exercise? But I've met some of the most wonderful people here and made some lifelong friends. Without this blog, I wouldn't have met these people who have made me so happy. So I'm going to start sharing my daily life with you again.
So there's some dirt on the Happy Texan. Hope you don't send me to the crazy house. We all have our idiosyncrasies. Some of mine I'm just learning about and some need to change!

Can you relate to any of these?? Or am I the only one? LOL

Happy Tuesday to ya!!

22 comments:

  1. You are something else.
    So many things I could say here, but I will leave it at this:
    "I am happy and privilidged just to be along for the ride with you, through the highs and lows. And for the record, you are worth every SECOND of it."

    Love.

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    1. Wow! Thanks, Chuck!!! :D You're way too kind but thank you.

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  2. Yes, it's just you. I'm perfect ;)

    P.S. I think a lot of women go through this process of self-discovery right around the age you are. It comes with kids that are growing up and leaving home and aging parents. It will continue for a couple years too. But the best thing is, once you have it all sorted out, you'll just get to be authentically you, no matter if it's good, bad, or ugly.

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    1. Glad I'm not alone. And hopefully the authentic me is not bad or ugly!! LOL

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  3. I can relate to #s 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, & 9. :)

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  4. More tequila will fix all the problems..

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    1. Thanks, Allan. I must agree with you there. ;)

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  5. Were we twins in another life? I can relate to SO MANY of these. #9 resonates so much with me because I come off as b***hy when I first meet people!

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    1. LOL May be!!
      Yeah, #9 gets me in trouble. Working on it. :)

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  6. I'm glad you're coming back...I've missed you!

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  7. Totally can relate, especially the spendy, self-sabotage, have to have goals/external motivator. And I'm crap at housekeeping. Total crap.

    On we go, imperfect but REAL. :D

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  8. Gosh.. I can relate to most of those except for #9. I walk around crowds smiling and saying hello..

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  9. I never thought of you as shy. Be the best you, you can be! That's my motto :D

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    1. Oh yeah. Very shy. But I'm getting better. :)

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  10. Kelly, I understand and can relate to nearly every word that you wrote.

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  11. Kelly, I thought I was reading my own list as I was reading yours. Crazy how we can sabotage ourselves. I know I need to get out of my own head sometimes.

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