Friday, August 3, 2012

Whole30 Day 2: Know what to expect

There are things that you'd like to be told to save yourself future embarrassment and/or fear. That's why books like What to Expect When You're Expecting are so popular. Let's face it: weird things happen to the body during pregnancy. It's good to know in advance.

Some things I wish someone would have told me even though the conversation would have been a little awkward. For instance, when I had Charlie the nurse said, "Whoa! You need to trim the hedges, girl!" Wha? Excuse me? I had no idea that was something women did. (fyi: not something you want to google either.)

Story #2: I had never been to a gynecologist until after I got married. As a matter of fact, we never went to the doctor unless we were near death. I was so nervous! The nurse took me into an examining room and gave me this folded piece of paper towel-like paper and told me to get undressed and put it over my head. I was clueless but wanted to follow directions. Sometimes I can be too literal. That was one of those days.

I stripped everything off and wrapped that paper towel around my head. I figured it was a sanitation issue like people wearing hair nets in food service. So I went along with it. The nurse came back in, saw me sitting there buck nekked with paper wrapped around my head, then left closing the door behind her. I know now that she went outside to laugh at me. Then she came back in and said, "No, honey. You use it as a gown." I wish I made this story up. Ohhhh, humiliation. My face turned beet red. I could feel it burning. I can barely remember what the doctor said because all I could think about was running out of that office and never going back. And I never did go back to another gynecologist until I got preggers.

See? There are things you'd like to know about so you don't die in a puddle of embarrassment.

The good folks at Whole30 have a little timeline of what to expect during the first week of this challenge and I find it quite useful so I'm not wondering if I'm losing my mind. It's nice to know these things!
 I like to be different so my body is mixing days 2-5 all at once. Oh, JOY!

Breakfast: 3 scrambled eggs with a little turkey and salsa. It looked like a turkey exploded on my breakfast so I won't be doing this again.
 Lunch: I had the pleasure of meeting a friend for lunch in Houston. While driving I noticed the air smelled like popcorn to me. That's so weird! Strange things happen when you cut out sugars and whatever else I'm cutting out. Mental fogginess is also a side effect so.....yeah. I had a beef shwarma salad with vinaigrette. I asked and they don't use sugar in their vinaigrette. YUM!
 That kept me satiated for quite a while. Later I wanted to eat something because a wave of anger crept over me. I tried to drink some hot green tea to get rid of those feelings and headache.
 Then suddenly I was starving so I mixed a little coconut with some coconut oil. Meh. It made me feel full.
 Time to make dinner. I saw a recipe on Nom Nom Paleo for Roasted Broccoli and Bacon and I just happened to have the ingredients so I got that party started.
 This stuff is so easy to make.
 Dinner: Grilled steak, sweet potato with cinnamon, roasted broccoli and bacon. So filling and totally tasty.

Feelings: It started out pretty good. Little headache. By mid-afternoon I was angry with food. Smelling popcorn in the air is weird enough but I reached a point where I wanted to much on something just because I was mad it even existed to tempt me. I was feeling spaced out and kind of moody. I'd forget things. Lose my train of thought. Ok, that's not too unusual. But I'd have the urge to go to the pantry even though I really wasn't hungry and that would tick me off even more. So day 2 was a little rough. But I lived to see another day.

Exercise: I've given up exercise for this week. Honestly I'd just look like a zombie out there anyway. Or put on my shoes and forget what I was going to do. My language skills aren't so great (Me: What do you call something that makes you not want to eat suppressant?  Chuck: Appetite suppressant. Are you sure you're ok?  Me: Don't make fun of me! It hurts to be me.) I forget what/why I was doing. (Me: Hi. I called you but I really have no idea why. I think I needed to tell you something. Sorry. Bye.) Sadly, all of those things really happened.

Day 2 done. Ready to get out of this mental fog.


  1. Oh Kelly! LOL at the paper sheet story! Funny now, but I'm sure at the time, less so. Have a great Friday.

  2. Thanks for the great laugh. ; ) Keep up the great work!

  3. At least you seem to have a great sense of humor about it. Althogh maybe we should check with Chuck ;)

  4. This was so funny, I had to read it to my daughters.

  5. Helen just forwarded me your blog. I'm on Day 3....I think we are soulmates!


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